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Jesus of the Bible

The more I get to know the Jesus of the bible, the more I stand in awe. Growing up, I knew two Jesuses. One who was full of holy anger, who I dare not sin against for fear of fire and damnation. And the other Jesus was a warm teddy bear, who loved to hug and cuddle and protect me. But these two Jesuses were not the same, let alone friends.
But now, as I actually read the bible and spend time studying it, I find our that neither of these Jesuses exist. The one, true Jesus, the one who made me and you and everyone in between, he is not like those individuals I thought I knew when I was young.
No, the real Jesus is both. He has holy anger because like a parent who only wants what is best for their child is angered when we disobey. Like a parent who has set out a wonderful path, with the foresight of what is needed and what is best. And like a parent, openly forgives and gives grace limitlessly when we stumble because even though we messed up his grace and love teaches us more about him that just his anger. His anger is expressed in him fighting for his children against the dark evils and principalities that exist all around us. His anger is him fighting for our righteousness.
I’ve come to realize that “sins” were not rules meant to be broken, but guidelines set out by the all-seeing, all-knowing one who wants he best for us. Because I’ve always seen myself as the center of the universe I had a hard time understanding this. But you’d think that just as a parent gets wiser the more children they have, out God who planned and formed each and everyone of us would know a thing or two.
The more I come to know this Jesus of the bible, the more I realize that he was not a zealous religious person that we so often make him out to be. He was not exclusive to those who had it together. He does not give me permission to put myself up on a pedestal to view others from above. But this Jesus, he was a homeless, street hippie who loved thiefs, prostitutes, the lame, the broken, the lost, the found, the I-know-I’m-found, the heathens, the religious, the Gentiles and Jews. This Jesus is so much more than a police-officer-in-the-sky or a sweet ole grandpa. He is a radical, a lover, a fighter and a friend. This Jesus is my God.

Sinner, what are you fighting for?

I read this quote today by Shane Claiborne ( I know ally quotes are coming from him
Lately, but that’s what I’m reading and the Holy Spirit is sure using it) “Rebirth means that we have a new paradigm of ‘us’ and ‘them.’ Our central identity is no longer biological…our new ‘us’ is the church, the people of God doing the will of the Father.” After reading this I just felt hugely convicted for myself. I am a new creation In Jesus and yet I am hanging on to things that are not allowing me to live in this new identity. If I truly believe in this King Jesus and I trust him with my life, soul and eternity, why am I not allowing him to work in the areas of sin in my life? Why am I holding on to them? Jesus calls me out from it, to release me from things that damage into a life that is healing. Jesus calls me away from a life where I am the center and into a life where he is the center.
I’m wrestling with this. I know what is right yet I don’t do it. I want to do what is right, the way The Lord laid it out so plainly in his word, yet I get caught up in the idea that my way is better. And although he graciously allows me to stumble and fall through that, and realize that his ways are better.
I just felt like I needed to confess that. I am a sinner, hungry for Gods grace and truth and communion.

And with this riding on the coat tails of Martin Luther King Jr. day, it really got me thinking, 

what am I fighting for?

Is it Jesus? Is it for the Kingdom? Is it for love? Is it for redemption? For  forgiveness? For peace? For reconciliation? For healing? For strong marriages? For our callings? For our relationship with our King? 

no, not lately

Lately, I’ve been planning a high school reunion.  Lately I’ve been worried about my body image.  Lately I’ve been thinking about myself and not about others.  

Why? Although both of those things have importance, they aren’t or at least shouldn’t be a priority.

I want to fight for something that matters. I am hungry for Jesus, I am hungry for people to see their value and worth in Him.  How he can transform lives.  But I need to live transformed.  If I love and live for this King who died so that I may live, I should at least live like I believe it.  

Lord, I want to live and breath and have my being in and for you.  Lord I am hungry for more of you. For your truth, for your grace, for your love.  I am a sinner.  I don’t trust.  I say I do, but I lie.  I want to put others above myself, I really truly do because I know how much better life is when I do, but I struggle.  I need your help, your strength, your grace.  Lord, how did you do it? How did you love so unconditionally, yet still hold so tightly to the truth? I want that conviction.  I want to be sold out like you Jesus.  I want to fight so that others may know you.  And know the real you.  Not the plastic Jesus that sits on a dashboard with the nickname Buddy.  But the real, faithful, strong, compassionate, trustworthy, persistent Jesus who is after our hearts and souls not because he’s crazy, but because He made us, and knows what is best for us. Lord, I want this! 



Sad soup day

So I made three crock pots of my squash soup for work tomorrow as an edible Christmas gift. And I had a brilliant idea that if take them to the car last night because it would be cold enough. Well I woke up at 1 and looked at my phone… Why would I do that… And it was 43 degrees!!!! That soup probably never got colder than that. So panicked and worried I read on google that food poisoning takes 2-6hrs to set in. So I became a Ginny pig. Then after eating it I reread it could be 2hrs-2days! Ahhhhh I can’t get 25 people sick. So dumped it all!!!!
And as I was trying to fall back asleep, stressed to the max, Randy reminded me that nobody died. Then I had a thought “Jesus is still King.” And that helped me relax. Even the craziest stuff can hit the fan, even the most trivial soup can go bad, and Jesus is still King.
So this morning, exhausted and delusional, I got groceries to start over (only because I told my whole staff not to bring lunch today and I can’t let someone go hungry) and Jesus is still King.

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